“The problem is that I cannot feel motivated…”
“Generally speaking, what would make you feel motivated?”
“When my manager tells me what to do (husband/wife/parent/child/friend/etc.), then I know I really have to do that…”
“Is that what really motivates you?”
“Well, it’s a pressure that makes me do what I am supposed to do….”
The discussion above is an except from a coaching conversation. I think everyone on this planet knows the pressure when we are expected to do things – this is part of life. However, when it becomes dominant, we tend to slip into a whirlwind of pleasing others, and forgetting our own needs. And then slowly we find ourself having no idea what motivates us, deep within…
This pressure always comes from outside sources such as deadlines, requests, expectations, or demands from others. It can have immediate “positive” impacts (“I get this project task done by the end of the day because my boss will be upset otherwise”, or “I go to the gym because my friend called me a fat cat last week”), but more often than not they lead to stress, conflicts, or burnout if not managed effectively.
On the other hand, real motivation comes from within. It’s the drive, passion, or desire to achieve a goal because of personal satisfaction, interest, or fulfillment. It’s always fueled by values, inner beliefs, and aspirations.
Inner motivation never feels like a pressure. It makes you feel free and energized. It also leads to more sustainable and fulfilling outcomes (“I’m going to work on this task today because it’s meaningful, fulfilling, and energizing” or “I go to the gym because that makes me feel energized and relaxed”)…
❓Do you feel motivated, or rather under pressure?…
Unfortunately, there is no magic wand that could switch on internal motivation instantly. Sometimes it takes deep self-work… But here are a few things you can try today if you feel not motivated (and under pressure):
It’s OK not to feel motivated all day every day.
Start by setting small, manageable goals for yourself. Break your “monster” tasks down into smaller steps.
Start by creating a system that works the best for you. Dedicate some time for those “monster” tasks (expectations). Give them name. Observe them. But don’t attach to them emotionally. Don’t look for motivation, don’t think about “why should I do this”… Also, don’t go to the rabbit hole of “I would rather do X instead”… Just start and get some small steps done… baby steps first… if it’s one task per day, then it’s one per day… it’s all OK… Don’t judge yourself, just keep going… Try again the next day…
Create an inspiring work environment. Your surroundings can have a significant impact on your motivation levels. Make sure your workspace is organized, comfortable, and free from distractions to help you focus better.
Take breaks when needed. It’s essential to listen to your body and mind when they signal that you need rest or refreshment. Stepping away from your work for a short break can help clear your thoughts and rejuvenate your energy. – However, thinking or dreaming about the next break while you work is something to avoid, of course…
Again, remember that it’s okay not to feel motivated all the time; everyone experiences ups and downs in their motivation levels. Be kind and patient to yourself during those low moments… There’s nothing wrong with you – you would be surprised how many people experience the same… (Maybe your boss/partner/child/friend as well, they just don’t talk about it…)
Last but not least, don’t forget to do something for yourself every single day. Something that relaxes, recharges, and energizes you. ✨
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